The Bonfires - Golden

If they had come to carry you away, I'd have gone instead

We were golden
But every little moment is stolen
I fall back in time and remember
Just to hear you say 'When we grow older'

But I know
That nothing really ever gets broken
Just lines of lattitude and oceans
We'll still be golden

Golden

Today's dress rehearsal

Today was the first of 2 dress rehearsals before the big showcase which should lead into an estimated 6 to 8 London gigs in June/July and it went great! We had the rehearsal room for the band for 3 hours in total but there was a lot of traffic on the M25 which meant the stylist makeup artist and I were 1 hour late, resulting in being very very rushed. Benny's outfit was pretty much fine, mine was fine, Nick's jacket needs to be dyed darker and we need to re-paper it with a newspaper kind of fabric instead of the script one currently on it, Swanny's outfit wasn't right for him so we have to completely re-do that for next week, and Rox's also needs some tweaks. We also need to get all new flowers to cover the floor and the mic stands (we were borrowing some today and now we have to get our own), white fairy lights for the drum kit, a new drum skin and we also need to make a huge pair of sphinx wings for me. In other words, there is a lot of work to do for next week's 2nd and final dress-rehearsal! But I am writing this post now feeling really great and happy and excited because today, although everything was far from perfect, I really saw the 'product' coming together ready to be put out there, marketed and sold, and by next week we are going to have that product ready! Everything I could see in my head with the message, the visuals, the songs, it had finally started to take shape and all come together! It's a great feeling!!!! There were no problems, just tweaks and polishing out the rough edges. Can't wait!!! We managed to record a very small amount of video footage but I don't have the camera and won't be able to get it until next week. Sadly no pictures.. we were just too rushed and hectic to focus on those things today due to being so late. We literally only had time to run the set once and make notes on performance, and then run 2 more songs which we filmed. All in all: Great day!! Bring on the final rehearsal next week!!!!

Will leave you with an image of the sphinx wings we are cloning for me to wear on stage:

Live show progress...

Just realised I hadn't blogged in a while, it's because I've been so busy preparing the live show. Week 4 rehearsal is coming up this week which is the first dress rehearsal which I am REALLY looking forward to. I am quite anxious to see what the musicians think of the clothes I've been customizing for them with my good friend Sabrina Kangal and also it'll be the first time they see me all dolled up as well. It should be a really inspiring day for everyone. The dress rehearsal is tomorrow (wednesday) and there's still so much left to do. If I stop to think about it I just panic and end up getting nothing done at all so best not to stop...

I said I would be putting up regular previews and I know I've failed to do that bar 1 post... but I will post again today (Tuesday) at a sensible hour with some pics of stage wear, I PROMISE! It is very very exciting!!

If you follow me on Twitter (twitter.com/jackmajik) or YouTube (youtube.com/jackmajiktv) you'll see that there are a load of videos that have gone up showing footage from Week 1, 2 and 3 rehearsals and also a few other vids. If you can't be bothered to sift your way through all of them then hold out for a few more weeks because I am editing all the raw footage together into video blogs which will start going up in a few weeks I predict. I didn't want to just have edited video blogs or HQ professional videos up on my YouTube, I wanted to have the raw stuff I film myself using my macbook cam too (or whatever cam I can get a hold for that day) so the human element is still there if you want to see it, rather than all the bits carefully selected and pieced together to make a beautiful marketable video... which I love and I am making them, but I want it all!! The complete package.

There's also still the sun and earth photoshoots left to do to complete the 3piece along with the moon one that was done a while back now. Just haven't got around to doing that either.. so many things on the go with this project and sadly a lot of my time is spent doing technical business-ey stuff at the moment (which I hate) which could be used on the creativity. Gonna try and get the sun shoot done either this week or next... but don't hold it against me if it doesn't happen!

I'll leave you with these awesome man ray pics my friend Laura (awesome singer, musician, songwriter - http://www.myspace.com/hey-laura) introduced me to. I'm in love!!!

American Beauty

Sometimes I feel like everything I work for and strive to achieve in life is just a complete waste of time. Why do we do the things we do.. I look around and I am seeing people's work, their achievements, the love they put into the things they have created, but what's it all for? Like in my blog feed just saw a thumbnail of a photoshoot which looked pretty good... why are they doing that? Why am I doing this.. Why do we set goals and spend our lives trying to reach them, aspiring to be things, wanting to make a difference, or not? What is a family, why do I feel like I do not have one, nor a home anymore, why do I feel like when I look around at other families it's just one huge lie they are living, and furthermore, why do I know it to be the truth yet they fail to see it. Furthermore, why do I not care that my family know this website address and will read what I am saying. Why do I have no fear, why do I not care? You know those little moments you get now and then that just make you feel alive, they aren't anything special at all, they just come along randomly out of the blue while you're doing something completely normal, they just hit you, it could be anything, today it was looking out of my window up at the concrete-covered sky, watching the trees blowing in the wind with rain pouring down, I felt so connected, like everything in life I do 99.99% of the time on a daily basis is just a complete waste. That all my efforts of trying to make the world a better place for everybody to live in, all my dreams, hopes, aspirations, everything, are just meaningless. People don't even understand positivity, I can imagine people reading this thinking I'm a depressed little fuck, well surprise I am actually very happy and content right now. I just wonder if I am 'bopping along' like all the people I look around and see bopping along which I hate so much, when I strive so hard not to become like them, and whether there is any point in it in the first place. The absolute best moment in my life was dancing on a beach with a past lover in the middle of the night pouring down with rain absolutely freezing, and I did absolutely nothing to achieve that. I could have died. And here I am, striving for a career in music, working my ass off, as everyone seems to be doing in their careers and lives, putting myself through so much shit on a daily basis, and for what? Is it really worth it? Probably not.

April Playlist - Week 3+4

What I've been listening to lately:

Paloma Faith - New York (Starsmith Remix)

Ladyhawke - My Delerium

Prince of Assyria - What Ever You Want

Regina Spektor - Samson

Alanis Morissette - You Learn

Thriving Ivory - Runaway

Marina + The Diamonds - I Am Not A Robot (Starsmith Remix)

Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come

Red+Blue wrists + Star jewellery

Clothing preview for stage... More soon!




The star above the i in Majik

Rehearsals

I'm rehearsing for the live show as we speak. There are in total 6 rehearsals planned, 1 per week, 1 has already been done. After that it's straight to London for gigs.

Up until now I haven't played live with the project; we've been working on the tracks in the studio with live work in mind. Now the time has come to take this show out on the road!! I'm so excited and very lucky to have a bunch of incredibly talented musicians playing for me, Nick Leigh (Guitar), Chris 'Swanny' Swan (Bass), Ben 'Benny K' Kennedy (Drums), Roxanne 'Roxy' Johns (Piano).

Here's the schedule:

Pre-rehearsal - Musician meets/greets and song introductions - sat 10 april
Rhrsl 1 - Run through tracks - tue 20 april
2 - Have all instrument parts nailed - thurs 29 april
3 - Have all backing vocal parts nailed ready to tell label backing
track revisions
4 - Dress rehearsal + Revised backing tracks run through
5 - Dress rehearsal 2 + Tweaks
6 - Get label down to OK it then gigs

It's all live but I wanted to play with backing tracks as an artistic statement. This is a pop act not a 'band'. Think 90's pop star. Things left on the backing tracks are strings, some effects (backwards vocals), pad sounds, just things to help it sound a little more polished and 'expensive'.

I've put some videos up from week 1 rehearsal on http://www.youtube.com/jackmajiktv - Pretty grim quality, next week I'll be prepared with a HD cam.

Can't wait. Lots of work to do over 6weeks especially with the visuals and styling but well up for it. Will post updates as we go to show sneak peak visuals. It's gonna be inspiring! I want it so that when you look up on stage you're not looking at 5 musicians playing some songs, you're looking at a world. A world of freedom and fantasy that the real world should be like, where anyone can do anything, anyone can say anything, if you want to wear a teapot on your face while walking your dog GO FOR IT! No rules, no limitations, just your mind.

April Playlist - Week 2

What I'm listening to this week...

Spotify link: April Playlist - Week 2

Oceanlab - On A Good Day

Vast - Dedicate (A Place For Me)

James Carrington - Ache

The Ark - It Takes A Fool To Remain Sane

Toni Braxton - Yesterday

Marija Serifovic - Molitva

Skunk Anansie - Because of You

Trentemoller - Moan

To be free

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

To be free. Do I want it? Yes. But if freedom means no responsibility, no one waiting for you, waiting for no one, what happens with love. And what is love anyway... ultimately it's an illusion to reproduce, a really fucked up one mixed with ideals drilled into our heads since the beginning of society. Rules everywhere. I hate rules. Fuck rules. Who is someone else to tell you what you can/can't do or say. I was thinking about radio/tv interviews earlier and how they wouldn't like it if I said 'fuck' on air. Well fuck you all. F-U-C-K. It's just a word. You don't want your kids hearing it? Well shove it up your fucking ass. It would be fine to say fuck if everybody didn't bring kids up with illusions of the world and all these stupid rules. If fuck was normal to say then nobody would give a fuck. Like cunt. Nobody likes cunt. I love cunt, the phonetics are beautiful, it's a very delicate sounding word if you say it very softly, the 'c' almost sounds like a gasp of air and the 't' is so soft, the entire word almost sounds like a sex noise (pretty appropriate too) and when it comes down to it, life is about sex. Anyway, so I can't say fuck or cunt because some people who I have no friggen idea who they are who don't know me, or you, or adam from adam, or adam and adam's kids (yep.. no eve here, eve can go fuck god like mary did and make another adam; hi christians btw!) said so, and dictated to you that your kids aren't supposed to hear these 4 letter WORDS (?! you what!) and now you believe it and try and enforce it upon me. No thanks. You are fucking crazy mind your own fucking business I don't tell you what to do with your self. The world is way too full of ignorant fucks trying to dictate their ego onto others cause of their own insecurities, failures, negative characteristics they can't deal with in themselves. What the fuck is wrong with you! This whole negative and positive thing doesn't even exist anyway. Everything is unconditional. Seriously, one day the kids will get to my age or usually a bit older I think (mid-life crisis?) and just have a breakdown and realise they are so fucking unhappy and some people won't know why. Well, the answer is cause you have been lied to every day of your freakin life by other people who have been lied to, and you are still being lied to. So next time you see some old traditional 90yr old woman hobbling down the street, shout fuck and you'll see exactly what I mean. The world has got to change. What a load of motherfucking bollocks. Fear governs everything and it has to stop.


The Ark- It takes a fool to remain sane

Whatever happened to the funky race?
A generation lost in pace,
-Wasn't life supposed to be more than this?
In this kiss I'll change your bore for my bliss
But let go of my hand and it will slip out
in the sand if you don't give me the chance
to break down the walls of attitude,
I ask nothing of you
not even your gratitude

And if you think I'm corny
then it will not make me sorry
it's your right to laugh at me
and in turn, that's my opportunity
to feel brave
Because ridicule is no shame
it's just a way to eclipse hate
it's just a way to put my back straight
it's just a way to remain sane

Every morning I would see her getting
off the bus the picture never drops
it's like a multicoloured snapshot stuck in my brain
it kept me sane for a couple of years
as it drenched my fears
of becoming like the others
who become unhappy mothers
and fathers of unhappy kids
And why is that?
'Cause they've forgotten how to play
or maybe they're afraid to feel ashamed
to seem strange
to seem insane
to gain weight
to seem gay
- I tell you this:

That it takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
(-Oh, take it to the stage!)

So, take it to the stage in a multicoloured
jacket take it jackpot, crackpot,
strutting like a peacock
nailvarnish Arkansas
shimmy-shammy featherboah crackpot haircut
dye your hair in glowing red and blue,

-Do, Do, Do! What you wanna do, Don't think twice,
do what you have to do,
Do, Do, Do, Do, let your heart decide
what you have to do that's all there is to find
Cause it takes a fool to remain sane,
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane,
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
-Oh, it takes a fool!..

V For Vendetta

For info on what a 'vendetta' is go to Feud - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



I was recommended to watch this movie for research for Jack's character. In particular I was told to pay attention to the mask, how the face it has means so many things, you can't tell whether it's happy, sad, good, bad, it is open to interpretation.

The movie in itself could possibly be the best movie I've ever seen. It deals with society and freedom, and from the second it opens to the second it ends every scene is so well thought-out and shot, it is just beauty after beauty. If I hadn't been working my whole life for a career in music, I would love to have worked to be an actor to just play a part in this movie. Natalie Portman is so lucky. She must have loved making this movie.

You MUST watch this movie! Don't want to spoil anything so just check this out: Below is the opening transcript and also a clip from the movie which contains no spoilers so it's safe to watch. It is part of the movie where it doesn't really relate to the story (it does but it doesn't) but for 5minutes or so you get to see a story inside the story. The character 'Valerie' you see isn't a character in the movie. You never see her she's just in this other short story (which is why I said it plays no relevance). The scene just demonstrates how beautifully crafted the entire movie is. PS: Natalie's character is not a lesbian. The movie is not about gays. Sorry to disappoint ;)

Opening transcript:

"Remember, remember / The fifth of November / The gunpowder treason and plot. / I know of no reason / Why the gunpowder treason / Should ever be forgot". But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes, and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it or hold it. Ideas do not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man who made me remember the fifth of November. A man I will never forget.

Transcript from the clip:

I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care, I am me. My name is Valerie, I don't think I'll live much longer and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that I'll ever write, and God, I'm writing it on toilet paper.

I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my '11 plus' and went to a girl's grammar; it was at school that I met my first girlfriend, her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that is was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did, I didn't.

In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me, he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth, was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.

I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, "The Salt Flats". It was the most important role of my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but her's again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were there best years of my life. But America's war grew worse, and worse. And eventually came to London. After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.

I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like 'collateral' and 'rendition' became frightening. While things like 'North Fire' and 'The Articles of Allegiance' became powerful, I remember how 'different' became 'dangerous'. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me.

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one.

An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

- Valerie

Time

I wonder... if we all had only 1 week left to live, what would we do with that time? I bet it's not everything what we're doing now. So why don't we do those things anyway before it's too late... is it cause it's already too late for those things???? Is it ever really too late? Dunno.... if it was then why would we do it in that week... surely that proves it's never too late... ?? going crazy here!!

Videos tomorrow cancelled :(

I was meant to be filming a live session tomorrow for online promo of original + cover songs but it's now having to be rescheduled since one of the musicians didn't realise he's already booked for another gig and the lady filming it (who has the big pro cameras!) also can't make it. I'm bummed. Was well excited to get first videos up. Trying to reschedule a.s.a.p but now it's looking like the earliest I can get everyone free at the same time is mid-April!!! Nothing I can do since I'm pulling favours from everyone and hustling like crazy... Oh, to have money...

Well, anyway. Here's one of the songs I was thinking about covering in the shoot. Tried out a bunch and don't think this is gonna be one I do (just don't think it's the 'right' one), but absolutely love this song and think this section is one of the best parts from any song ever. So simple but so good. Shitty quality recording, just me and my guitar recorded live on my Macbook Pro dictaphone. The real videos are gonna be recorded in super ultra pro amazing HD or whatever the hell they are calling it these days

Coldplay - Fix You

Tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

James Dean II

Last week I knew nothing about James Dean apart from the fact I thought he looked very cool and did a movie called 'Rebel Without A Cause'. I've spent a week researching him now. There are some very sad and beautiful things that happened in his life but I'm not gonna cover any details of his life because I think all those details irrelevant. If you want to know them you can go to James Dean - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and there's also a movie about him with James Franco playing him. What I think is important is what he stood for.

I thought James Dean was this 'Rebel' (a word been thrown about now ridiculously), a bad boy, or that guy at school who is so popular and cool. Well, that is not the case at all. James to me came across like some huge nerd who most likely would be the one in school who gets bullied cause he's so freakin weird, an outcast. To me, there is no mysteriousness around James Dean. It's simple. He lived for his craft. He loved to act. He was a great actor. It does annoy me somewhat that he is actually such an icon now. Not because I doubt he didn't have the talent to be such a well known actor, but because it seems he is so famous because of his attitude towards acting, which was basically, 'Don't act the character, be the character.' This seems pretty straight forward and obvious. If you are an actor, you shouldn't lie, you should act the 'truth'. It annoys me that clearly, this is what an actor should be, and it seems that all these other actors didn't/don't do that, which is why he was different, and why he stood out. Do your job properly or don't do it!!!! Don't half ass anything. If your scene tells you to punch someone cause you're so freakin angry, you fucking punch them like they just cursed over your mother's grave. That's the craft. That's art. The same can be related to anything about life. if you don't do something with everything you've got behind it, to the complete extreme, you're missing out, you're wasting such precious time.

It seems James wasn't afraid to stand up in a room full of people even if he stood alone, which is what everyone should strive for. You just gotta follow your own heart and beliefs and be the best you can possibly be. I do find it so sad that in society, something which should seem so blatantly obvious for everyone to do is just not done. What the hell is going on with the world? Humans are becoming slaves to themselves and prisoners in their own homes and lives. Fuck this bollocks I hate society. I wanna be an animal.













PS: I think the book name 'Portrait of Cool' is so shit and cheesy. I bet if James was alive he wouldn't allow a book about him to be published with that name!

The search for 'Underland'

In prep for another shoot we went out to some different woods this time looking for interest spots. It was absolutely pissing it down with rain just as we got there and half way through we had to stop and take off all our scarves and make a big canopy cause it was just TOOOO wet and cold. We were fucking DRENCHED! Wish I had a picture of us crouched down under this tree with scarves tied in all the branches above us it was just one of those moments you've got to love... we tried to get one but the rain was just so heavy the camera wouldn't focus and everything was just too wet, so we gave up very quickly and just took cover!!!!!!! :)

Found this great little spot just before it started chucking it down, very Alice in Underland-ey! PERFECT for Majik! Look at the lighting! It's SOOO beautiful! And the colours!! Godddddddd! Ignore me in the photo. Imagine the setting now with me dressed up in character with full makeup.. it's gonna be fucking amazing I'm excited to go back and do the proper shots!!! If you look carefully to the right of my head on the tree it also kind of looks like there are eyes coming out of the tree.... I'm thinking this is a job for Mr. Photoshop! I also love the way the tree I'm leaning on is split down the middle. So much character!!! Kind of like a gateway. You could just imagine it opening up and splitting apart. I love this tree!! And if you look behind me to the left in the more zoomed-out pic it looks a bit like fireflies or some kind of magical-ness (did I just invent a word?) in the background. Also considering some kind of photoshopping with my shadow to make it something else? Something creepy. OK I'm going on. Wait for the real pics!! Gonna be good!



Liked this tree stump too. It framed nicely. Nice colours too... Sad that the tree had been cut away though...

Eyes

Every photoshoot I've had recently I keep hearing the same thing thrown at me. I'm too strong. My face is too strong. My eyes are too strong. Lighten up. Compare the recent picture of me in the woods leaning on a tree (click here to view it in a new window) with this shot I just dug out from a shoot last year:



Something's going on. Eyes don't lie, that's one thing I've always believed. There's something being portrayed that I didn't even know was there now.. and I don't like it!

I can't help but think this is linked to love. Everything is it seems. I was in love during the shoot above. Now nothing is the same as it was before and I wonder exactly how much an affect loss has on everything, especially the first loss. Just when you think you understand your position, someone points something out so simple that throws you completely. "Your eyes are different." I've never received a criticism about my eyes, in fact up until now I've only ever received compliments and told it's my stand-out feature. Fucking scary if you ask me. Do you ever really know yourself or do you just think you do? How can you expect other people to know and receive who you are when you aren't sure if you do yourself? If it is love related, man, love fucks you up. Why play that game? Food for thought...

I finished my James Dean study yesterday but have yet to blog it. Seems he had a similar problem with people 'knowing' him. Reading about Marilyn Monroe now... I've already fallen in love with her character, she seemed so wonderful and intelligent the way she's being wrote about. Lots of pain though. Ain't that just the way it goes! So far, it seems that behind every great icon all there seems to be is pain. Also seems intelligence and pain are directly linked. Innocence must definitely be bliss!

Christopher Morley

Christopher Morley - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

James Dean I

The book got me thinking... I haven't read all of it yet but I'm in a thought-provoking mood right now. It seems the best thing one can do is to take one's self out of society. To unlearn everything you have ever been taught if you have been raised in society (which I have) and to start again. But once you take yourself out of society (which is what has been happening naturally for a long time with me), how do you then function in the society-driven world? How do you make money if you are not already established, and why should you have to wait until you are established to do it? How do you communicate when you don't want to and don't agree with the standard 'rules' of communication etiquette? Do you really have to smile if you don't want to? Do you have to laugh at a joke if you don't find it funny? No. But then people think you are rude and they won't want to talk to you again because they have not taken themselves out of society either and are still judging every minute of every day by standards that have been passed on to them, so what is the answer? How do you do it?

This relates to me and my career. I'm not the most sociable person. I love people, but only certain ones, not a lot. It takes a lot to break into my shell, more the older I get. And this whole online social scene I have now become a part of as a means of promoting my 'voice'. How is my voice supposed to be heard when every second things like MySpace, Facebook and Twitter are flooded with 2,000 messages of people saying things like 'they just saw someone on a train' or 'they just ate a muffin' or 'they are hungover' and the most trivial pieces of information nobody really cares about. Guess what? No one cares. But then the same can be said to me. Shut up no one cares. Why am I more important? I'm not really. The whole thing relates back to an idea I read about before, about how everybody in life wants to think they are important. They have to believe their life is important, and that it has worth, and that people are listening. But if your life isn't important to someone else, why say something? How do you get your life to be important to someone else? And how do you stand out? Why would someone want to read what I have to say, and why are you even reading this? This is something I can't get my head around. I believe what I have to say is important and that people should hear it, but then again, isn't that the case with everyone? What sets YOU apart from ME?

This also relates to something else I was reading about a while ago. Equality will never exist. This is an ideal people strive for which can never happen. The reason? Humans are not born equal, and no 2 humans are the same. Some people are better runners, better singers, have bigger arms, have the ability to think more, the ability to feel emotions stronger, deal with 'numbers' and math better, better talkers, better listeners, better leaders. People are not equal, but everyone is striving to be heard. Is it true to say that some people deserve to be heard more than others? Why? And why should someone listen? I haven't figured it out yet.

Another thing it reminds me of is a quote from the start of Gia:

"Sex was really easy. There was sex everywhere. It didn't really mean too much. Love, love was the hard thing to find. Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were. And even if you found it, which not too many people did, even if it was right there in front of you. No; how could you see it with all the sex in the way?"

Jonna Lee

I'm obsessed.

Biro? .. Check! Nail polish? ....... Check!

Another long press day today where I'm just sat in front of my mac and the phone doing PR and contacting a billion people (of which half of them won't even reply anyway! Thanks a lot! One day you'll wish you replied!!)

I just took a break and noted down some lyrics that really stuck out to me in songs I was listening to. The subconscious mind is a funny thing!



Songs: (with Spotify links)
You took my love: Sade - No Ordinary Love
Pure as my sins allow & Broke every promise and proud: Siobhan Donaghy - Coming Up For Air
Sometimes engines just stall: Sarah Barton Keely - Engines (MySpace link not Spotify)
Keep my body warm baby & My heart races with you: Cass Foxx - Touch Me
I was hoping you were joking but I don't see a smile in sight: Cass Fox - Into The Blue (Acoustic) (Labelled wrongly in Spotify)
I wouldn't ever try to hurt you & I'm only human: The Human League - Human
If we'd only start believing & You and me we just laid down in the garden: Take That - The Garden (Abbey Road Version)
A star so bright you blind me & I have to believe: Take That - Rule The World (Abbey Road Version)
If they hurt you they hurt me too & We'll fall if we must: t.A.T.u - All About Us
You're broken when your heart's not open, If I could melt your heart & Let all the hurt inside of you die: Madonna - Frozen
I've never known completeness like being here: Lamb - Gorecki
Hungry still for more: Delerium - Silence

Mood boards

Just found these lying around. My friend Carla Levy (Makeup artist) made them July last year when we first started really working on Jack's visuals preparing for the first shoot. The first one is hair & makeup and the second is clothing.

Who's that girl?

My friend Stacey Riley just started blogging. Subscribe/Follow her! She's very cool! I am also doing the 23 clothing line with her.

thatgirlstaceyriley.blogspot.com

23

Song: Jimmy Eat World - 23

'23' is an up-and-coming project with my friend Stacey Riley, where we will be creating a clothing range based on the number 23.

The story behind the name is that lately the number 23 has been haunting her, and so I typed it into Google (as you do) to see what came up as a joke and this was at the top of the list: 23 Enigma - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Other notable mentions of the number 23 include:

- Mother and Father each contribute 23 chromosomes to the fertilized egg, while within the DNA coil of genetic metaprogramming instructions there are unexplained bonding irregularities every 23rd angstrom.
- A magic(k) word used commonly, Abrahadabra, is often split up as "Abra Kadabra." 2 and 3 syllables, respectively...
- In both ancient Sumeria and Egypt, July 23, when Sirius rises behind the sun, was the beginning of the new year.
- The letter W is 23rd in the alphabet and had two points down and three points up.
- It takes 23 seconds for blood to circulate through the human body.
- The human biorhythm cycle is 23 days.

- I am 23 this year.

- 9/11/2001 9+11+2+1 = 23

The list goes on. There are also some very spooky personal references to the number which I won't note here... There was also a movie about the 23 Enigma called 'The Number 23' (2007) starring Jim Carrey.

One day we were walking down the high street joking about this number as it kept coming up again and again and we kept passing beautiful clothes shops, not typical ones, like charity shops and just weird interesting shops, then it hit me that 23 would be a great name for a brand based on this. After a quick check on Google there didn't seem to be any other clothing lines doing the same thing.

There will be male and female clothes, all 1 of-a-kind and will be purchasable via a 23 site which will be blogged here when available. Each piece will encorporate the number somehow. On the 2 below, the woman's is self explanitory, but the men's is an inverted Latin cross (which has recently been recognized as an opposition to religion promoting free thought) with an XXIII (23 in Roman numerals) as the horizontal line. It also has a ! hidden in it, as well as '23' written at the top on the back made out of 23 small hoops.

'I love you' was too many words to say

Forget your life for a moment. Just lay down somewhere and look up to the sky and let life pass you by. Yeah, that's what I call living. Live for the little moments. Remember. Reflect. Grow.

Song: Take That - The Circus (Abbey Road Version)

And some other pics we took in the woods today...



"Nobody needs to prove to anybody what they're worthy of, just the person that they look at in the mirror. That's the only person you need to answer to. " - Picabo Street

The New Dean

My good friend/multi-talented artist/makeup artist/stylist/painter/singer/humanitarian/God's gift/etcetc Sabrina gave me a wonderful big book today on James Dean which covers his entire life. I have been interested in researching him in-depth for quite some time now but just didn't get around to it, so I am naturally very excited to read this book!! I will probably post up a case study sometime in the near future....

Trivial fact here, but my real last name is also Dean. Maybe we're related.. ?

Happy mothers' day by the way to all in England!



PS: Press, feel free to steal my headline. I don't mind. 'The New Dean' ... Has a nice ring to it!

Rock on!

'Moon' shoot (1/3)

This is the first of a collection of 3 looks being prepared where I will be personifying the Sun, Moon, and Earth.





And finally, below is the kind of idea of what I am going for. I did this myself roughly for the retoucher (Steve Payne) to have a visual aid (rather than me just describing my idea) for the direction I want it to go in. He has all the raw files now. I'm excited to see what he does! He will no doubt make something amazing!! He is very talented. There's a link to his website on the right-hand side of the page under 'Friends'.