The Bonfires - Golden

If they had come to carry you away, I'd have gone instead

We were golden
But every little moment is stolen
I fall back in time and remember
Just to hear you say 'When we grow older'

But I know
That nothing really ever gets broken
Just lines of lattitude and oceans
We'll still be golden

Golden

Today's dress rehearsal

Today was the first of 2 dress rehearsals before the big showcase which should lead into an estimated 6 to 8 London gigs in June/July and it went great! We had the rehearsal room for the band for 3 hours in total but there was a lot of traffic on the M25 which meant the stylist makeup artist and I were 1 hour late, resulting in being very very rushed. Benny's outfit was pretty much fine, mine was fine, Nick's jacket needs to be dyed darker and we need to re-paper it with a newspaper kind of fabric instead of the script one currently on it, Swanny's outfit wasn't right for him so we have to completely re-do that for next week, and Rox's also needs some tweaks. We also need to get all new flowers to cover the floor and the mic stands (we were borrowing some today and now we have to get our own), white fairy lights for the drum kit, a new drum skin and we also need to make a huge pair of sphinx wings for me. In other words, there is a lot of work to do for next week's 2nd and final dress-rehearsal! But I am writing this post now feeling really great and happy and excited because today, although everything was far from perfect, I really saw the 'product' coming together ready to be put out there, marketed and sold, and by next week we are going to have that product ready! Everything I could see in my head with the message, the visuals, the songs, it had finally started to take shape and all come together! It's a great feeling!!!! There were no problems, just tweaks and polishing out the rough edges. Can't wait!!! We managed to record a very small amount of video footage but I don't have the camera and won't be able to get it until next week. Sadly no pictures.. we were just too rushed and hectic to focus on those things today due to being so late. We literally only had time to run the set once and make notes on performance, and then run 2 more songs which we filmed. All in all: Great day!! Bring on the final rehearsal next week!!!!

Will leave you with an image of the sphinx wings we are cloning for me to wear on stage:

Live show progress...

Just realised I hadn't blogged in a while, it's because I've been so busy preparing the live show. Week 4 rehearsal is coming up this week which is the first dress rehearsal which I am REALLY looking forward to. I am quite anxious to see what the musicians think of the clothes I've been customizing for them with my good friend Sabrina Kangal and also it'll be the first time they see me all dolled up as well. It should be a really inspiring day for everyone. The dress rehearsal is tomorrow (wednesday) and there's still so much left to do. If I stop to think about it I just panic and end up getting nothing done at all so best not to stop...

I said I would be putting up regular previews and I know I've failed to do that bar 1 post... but I will post again today (Tuesday) at a sensible hour with some pics of stage wear, I PROMISE! It is very very exciting!!

If you follow me on Twitter (twitter.com/jackmajik) or YouTube (youtube.com/jackmajiktv) you'll see that there are a load of videos that have gone up showing footage from Week 1, 2 and 3 rehearsals and also a few other vids. If you can't be bothered to sift your way through all of them then hold out for a few more weeks because I am editing all the raw footage together into video blogs which will start going up in a few weeks I predict. I didn't want to just have edited video blogs or HQ professional videos up on my YouTube, I wanted to have the raw stuff I film myself using my macbook cam too (or whatever cam I can get a hold for that day) so the human element is still there if you want to see it, rather than all the bits carefully selected and pieced together to make a beautiful marketable video... which I love and I am making them, but I want it all!! The complete package.

There's also still the sun and earth photoshoots left to do to complete the 3piece along with the moon one that was done a while back now. Just haven't got around to doing that either.. so many things on the go with this project and sadly a lot of my time is spent doing technical business-ey stuff at the moment (which I hate) which could be used on the creativity. Gonna try and get the sun shoot done either this week or next... but don't hold it against me if it doesn't happen!

I'll leave you with these awesome man ray pics my friend Laura (awesome singer, musician, songwriter - http://www.myspace.com/hey-laura) introduced me to. I'm in love!!!

American Beauty

Sometimes I feel like everything I work for and strive to achieve in life is just a complete waste of time. Why do we do the things we do.. I look around and I am seeing people's work, their achievements, the love they put into the things they have created, but what's it all for? Like in my blog feed just saw a thumbnail of a photoshoot which looked pretty good... why are they doing that? Why am I doing this.. Why do we set goals and spend our lives trying to reach them, aspiring to be things, wanting to make a difference, or not? What is a family, why do I feel like I do not have one, nor a home anymore, why do I feel like when I look around at other families it's just one huge lie they are living, and furthermore, why do I know it to be the truth yet they fail to see it. Furthermore, why do I not care that my family know this website address and will read what I am saying. Why do I have no fear, why do I not care? You know those little moments you get now and then that just make you feel alive, they aren't anything special at all, they just come along randomly out of the blue while you're doing something completely normal, they just hit you, it could be anything, today it was looking out of my window up at the concrete-covered sky, watching the trees blowing in the wind with rain pouring down, I felt so connected, like everything in life I do 99.99% of the time on a daily basis is just a complete waste. That all my efforts of trying to make the world a better place for everybody to live in, all my dreams, hopes, aspirations, everything, are just meaningless. People don't even understand positivity, I can imagine people reading this thinking I'm a depressed little fuck, well surprise I am actually very happy and content right now. I just wonder if I am 'bopping along' like all the people I look around and see bopping along which I hate so much, when I strive so hard not to become like them, and whether there is any point in it in the first place. The absolute best moment in my life was dancing on a beach with a past lover in the middle of the night pouring down with rain absolutely freezing, and I did absolutely nothing to achieve that. I could have died. And here I am, striving for a career in music, working my ass off, as everyone seems to be doing in their careers and lives, putting myself through so much shit on a daily basis, and for what? Is it really worth it? Probably not.