Eyes

Every photoshoot I've had recently I keep hearing the same thing thrown at me. I'm too strong. My face is too strong. My eyes are too strong. Lighten up. Compare the recent picture of me in the woods leaning on a tree (click here to view it in a new window) with this shot I just dug out from a shoot last year:



Something's going on. Eyes don't lie, that's one thing I've always believed. There's something being portrayed that I didn't even know was there now.. and I don't like it!

I can't help but think this is linked to love. Everything is it seems. I was in love during the shoot above. Now nothing is the same as it was before and I wonder exactly how much an affect loss has on everything, especially the first loss. Just when you think you understand your position, someone points something out so simple that throws you completely. "Your eyes are different." I've never received a criticism about my eyes, in fact up until now I've only ever received compliments and told it's my stand-out feature. Fucking scary if you ask me. Do you ever really know yourself or do you just think you do? How can you expect other people to know and receive who you are when you aren't sure if you do yourself? If it is love related, man, love fucks you up. Why play that game? Food for thought...

I finished my James Dean study yesterday but have yet to blog it. Seems he had a similar problem with people 'knowing' him. Reading about Marilyn Monroe now... I've already fallen in love with her character, she seemed so wonderful and intelligent the way she's being wrote about. Lots of pain though. Ain't that just the way it goes! So far, it seems that behind every great icon all there seems to be is pain. Also seems intelligence and pain are directly linked. Innocence must definitely be bliss!