The Bonfires - Golden

If they had come to carry you away, I'd have gone instead

We were golden
But every little moment is stolen
I fall back in time and remember
Just to hear you say 'When we grow older'

But I know
That nothing really ever gets broken
Just lines of lattitude and oceans
We'll still be golden

Golden

Today's dress rehearsal

Today was the first of 2 dress rehearsals before the big showcase which should lead into an estimated 6 to 8 London gigs in June/July and it went great! We had the rehearsal room for the band for 3 hours in total but there was a lot of traffic on the M25 which meant the stylist makeup artist and I were 1 hour late, resulting in being very very rushed. Benny's outfit was pretty much fine, mine was fine, Nick's jacket needs to be dyed darker and we need to re-paper it with a newspaper kind of fabric instead of the script one currently on it, Swanny's outfit wasn't right for him so we have to completely re-do that for next week, and Rox's also needs some tweaks. We also need to get all new flowers to cover the floor and the mic stands (we were borrowing some today and now we have to get our own), white fairy lights for the drum kit, a new drum skin and we also need to make a huge pair of sphinx wings for me. In other words, there is a lot of work to do for next week's 2nd and final dress-rehearsal! But I am writing this post now feeling really great and happy and excited because today, although everything was far from perfect, I really saw the 'product' coming together ready to be put out there, marketed and sold, and by next week we are going to have that product ready! Everything I could see in my head with the message, the visuals, the songs, it had finally started to take shape and all come together! It's a great feeling!!!! There were no problems, just tweaks and polishing out the rough edges. Can't wait!!! We managed to record a very small amount of video footage but I don't have the camera and won't be able to get it until next week. Sadly no pictures.. we were just too rushed and hectic to focus on those things today due to being so late. We literally only had time to run the set once and make notes on performance, and then run 2 more songs which we filmed. All in all: Great day!! Bring on the final rehearsal next week!!!!

Will leave you with an image of the sphinx wings we are cloning for me to wear on stage:

Live show progress...

Just realised I hadn't blogged in a while, it's because I've been so busy preparing the live show. Week 4 rehearsal is coming up this week which is the first dress rehearsal which I am REALLY looking forward to. I am quite anxious to see what the musicians think of the clothes I've been customizing for them with my good friend Sabrina Kangal and also it'll be the first time they see me all dolled up as well. It should be a really inspiring day for everyone. The dress rehearsal is tomorrow (wednesday) and there's still so much left to do. If I stop to think about it I just panic and end up getting nothing done at all so best not to stop...

I said I would be putting up regular previews and I know I've failed to do that bar 1 post... but I will post again today (Tuesday) at a sensible hour with some pics of stage wear, I PROMISE! It is very very exciting!!

If you follow me on Twitter (twitter.com/jackmajik) or YouTube (youtube.com/jackmajiktv) you'll see that there are a load of videos that have gone up showing footage from Week 1, 2 and 3 rehearsals and also a few other vids. If you can't be bothered to sift your way through all of them then hold out for a few more weeks because I am editing all the raw footage together into video blogs which will start going up in a few weeks I predict. I didn't want to just have edited video blogs or HQ professional videos up on my YouTube, I wanted to have the raw stuff I film myself using my macbook cam too (or whatever cam I can get a hold for that day) so the human element is still there if you want to see it, rather than all the bits carefully selected and pieced together to make a beautiful marketable video... which I love and I am making them, but I want it all!! The complete package.

There's also still the sun and earth photoshoots left to do to complete the 3piece along with the moon one that was done a while back now. Just haven't got around to doing that either.. so many things on the go with this project and sadly a lot of my time is spent doing technical business-ey stuff at the moment (which I hate) which could be used on the creativity. Gonna try and get the sun shoot done either this week or next... but don't hold it against me if it doesn't happen!

I'll leave you with these awesome man ray pics my friend Laura (awesome singer, musician, songwriter - http://www.myspace.com/hey-laura) introduced me to. I'm in love!!!

American Beauty

Sometimes I feel like everything I work for and strive to achieve in life is just a complete waste of time. Why do we do the things we do.. I look around and I am seeing people's work, their achievements, the love they put into the things they have created, but what's it all for? Like in my blog feed just saw a thumbnail of a photoshoot which looked pretty good... why are they doing that? Why am I doing this.. Why do we set goals and spend our lives trying to reach them, aspiring to be things, wanting to make a difference, or not? What is a family, why do I feel like I do not have one, nor a home anymore, why do I feel like when I look around at other families it's just one huge lie they are living, and furthermore, why do I know it to be the truth yet they fail to see it. Furthermore, why do I not care that my family know this website address and will read what I am saying. Why do I have no fear, why do I not care? You know those little moments you get now and then that just make you feel alive, they aren't anything special at all, they just come along randomly out of the blue while you're doing something completely normal, they just hit you, it could be anything, today it was looking out of my window up at the concrete-covered sky, watching the trees blowing in the wind with rain pouring down, I felt so connected, like everything in life I do 99.99% of the time on a daily basis is just a complete waste. That all my efforts of trying to make the world a better place for everybody to live in, all my dreams, hopes, aspirations, everything, are just meaningless. People don't even understand positivity, I can imagine people reading this thinking I'm a depressed little fuck, well surprise I am actually very happy and content right now. I just wonder if I am 'bopping along' like all the people I look around and see bopping along which I hate so much, when I strive so hard not to become like them, and whether there is any point in it in the first place. The absolute best moment in my life was dancing on a beach with a past lover in the middle of the night pouring down with rain absolutely freezing, and I did absolutely nothing to achieve that. I could have died. And here I am, striving for a career in music, working my ass off, as everyone seems to be doing in their careers and lives, putting myself through so much shit on a daily basis, and for what? Is it really worth it? Probably not.

April Playlist - Week 3+4

What I've been listening to lately:

Paloma Faith - New York (Starsmith Remix)

Ladyhawke - My Delerium

Prince of Assyria - What Ever You Want

Regina Spektor - Samson

Alanis Morissette - You Learn

Thriving Ivory - Runaway

Marina + The Diamonds - I Am Not A Robot (Starsmith Remix)

Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come

Red+Blue wrists + Star jewellery

Clothing preview for stage... More soon!




The star above the i in Majik

Rehearsals

I'm rehearsing for the live show as we speak. There are in total 6 rehearsals planned, 1 per week, 1 has already been done. After that it's straight to London for gigs.

Up until now I haven't played live with the project; we've been working on the tracks in the studio with live work in mind. Now the time has come to take this show out on the road!! I'm so excited and very lucky to have a bunch of incredibly talented musicians playing for me, Nick Leigh (Guitar), Chris 'Swanny' Swan (Bass), Ben 'Benny K' Kennedy (Drums), Roxanne 'Roxy' Johns (Piano).

Here's the schedule:

Pre-rehearsal - Musician meets/greets and song introductions - sat 10 april
Rhrsl 1 - Run through tracks - tue 20 april
2 - Have all instrument parts nailed - thurs 29 april
3 - Have all backing vocal parts nailed ready to tell label backing
track revisions
4 - Dress rehearsal + Revised backing tracks run through
5 - Dress rehearsal 2 + Tweaks
6 - Get label down to OK it then gigs

It's all live but I wanted to play with backing tracks as an artistic statement. This is a pop act not a 'band'. Think 90's pop star. Things left on the backing tracks are strings, some effects (backwards vocals), pad sounds, just things to help it sound a little more polished and 'expensive'.

I've put some videos up from week 1 rehearsal on http://www.youtube.com/jackmajiktv - Pretty grim quality, next week I'll be prepared with a HD cam.

Can't wait. Lots of work to do over 6weeks especially with the visuals and styling but well up for it. Will post updates as we go to show sneak peak visuals. It's gonna be inspiring! I want it so that when you look up on stage you're not looking at 5 musicians playing some songs, you're looking at a world. A world of freedom and fantasy that the real world should be like, where anyone can do anything, anyone can say anything, if you want to wear a teapot on your face while walking your dog GO FOR IT! No rules, no limitations, just your mind.

April Playlist - Week 2

What I'm listening to this week...

Spotify link: April Playlist - Week 2

Oceanlab - On A Good Day

Vast - Dedicate (A Place For Me)

James Carrington - Ache

The Ark - It Takes A Fool To Remain Sane

Toni Braxton - Yesterday

Marija Serifovic - Molitva

Skunk Anansie - Because of You

Trentemoller - Moan

To be free

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

To be free. Do I want it? Yes. But if freedom means no responsibility, no one waiting for you, waiting for no one, what happens with love. And what is love anyway... ultimately it's an illusion to reproduce, a really fucked up one mixed with ideals drilled into our heads since the beginning of society. Rules everywhere. I hate rules. Fuck rules. Who is someone else to tell you what you can/can't do or say. I was thinking about radio/tv interviews earlier and how they wouldn't like it if I said 'fuck' on air. Well fuck you all. F-U-C-K. It's just a word. You don't want your kids hearing it? Well shove it up your fucking ass. It would be fine to say fuck if everybody didn't bring kids up with illusions of the world and all these stupid rules. If fuck was normal to say then nobody would give a fuck. Like cunt. Nobody likes cunt. I love cunt, the phonetics are beautiful, it's a very delicate sounding word if you say it very softly, the 'c' almost sounds like a gasp of air and the 't' is so soft, the entire word almost sounds like a sex noise (pretty appropriate too) and when it comes down to it, life is about sex. Anyway, so I can't say fuck or cunt because some people who I have no friggen idea who they are who don't know me, or you, or adam from adam, or adam and adam's kids (yep.. no eve here, eve can go fuck god like mary did and make another adam; hi christians btw!) said so, and dictated to you that your kids aren't supposed to hear these 4 letter WORDS (?! you what!) and now you believe it and try and enforce it upon me. No thanks. You are fucking crazy mind your own fucking business I don't tell you what to do with your self. The world is way too full of ignorant fucks trying to dictate their ego onto others cause of their own insecurities, failures, negative characteristics they can't deal with in themselves. What the fuck is wrong with you! This whole negative and positive thing doesn't even exist anyway. Everything is unconditional. Seriously, one day the kids will get to my age or usually a bit older I think (mid-life crisis?) and just have a breakdown and realise they are so fucking unhappy and some people won't know why. Well, the answer is cause you have been lied to every day of your freakin life by other people who have been lied to, and you are still being lied to. So next time you see some old traditional 90yr old woman hobbling down the street, shout fuck and you'll see exactly what I mean. The world has got to change. What a load of motherfucking bollocks. Fear governs everything and it has to stop.


The Ark- It takes a fool to remain sane

Whatever happened to the funky race?
A generation lost in pace,
-Wasn't life supposed to be more than this?
In this kiss I'll change your bore for my bliss
But let go of my hand and it will slip out
in the sand if you don't give me the chance
to break down the walls of attitude,
I ask nothing of you
not even your gratitude

And if you think I'm corny
then it will not make me sorry
it's your right to laugh at me
and in turn, that's my opportunity
to feel brave
Because ridicule is no shame
it's just a way to eclipse hate
it's just a way to put my back straight
it's just a way to remain sane

Every morning I would see her getting
off the bus the picture never drops
it's like a multicoloured snapshot stuck in my brain
it kept me sane for a couple of years
as it drenched my fears
of becoming like the others
who become unhappy mothers
and fathers of unhappy kids
And why is that?
'Cause they've forgotten how to play
or maybe they're afraid to feel ashamed
to seem strange
to seem insane
to gain weight
to seem gay
- I tell you this:

That it takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
(-Oh, take it to the stage!)

So, take it to the stage in a multicoloured
jacket take it jackpot, crackpot,
strutting like a peacock
nailvarnish Arkansas
shimmy-shammy featherboah crackpot haircut
dye your hair in glowing red and blue,

-Do, Do, Do! What you wanna do, Don't think twice,
do what you have to do,
Do, Do, Do, Do, let your heart decide
what you have to do that's all there is to find
Cause it takes a fool to remain sane,
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane,
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
-Oh, it takes a fool!..

V For Vendetta

For info on what a 'vendetta' is go to Feud - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



I was recommended to watch this movie for research for Jack's character. In particular I was told to pay attention to the mask, how the face it has means so many things, you can't tell whether it's happy, sad, good, bad, it is open to interpretation.

The movie in itself could possibly be the best movie I've ever seen. It deals with society and freedom, and from the second it opens to the second it ends every scene is so well thought-out and shot, it is just beauty after beauty. If I hadn't been working my whole life for a career in music, I would love to have worked to be an actor to just play a part in this movie. Natalie Portman is so lucky. She must have loved making this movie.

You MUST watch this movie! Don't want to spoil anything so just check this out: Below is the opening transcript and also a clip from the movie which contains no spoilers so it's safe to watch. It is part of the movie where it doesn't really relate to the story (it does but it doesn't) but for 5minutes or so you get to see a story inside the story. The character 'Valerie' you see isn't a character in the movie. You never see her she's just in this other short story (which is why I said it plays no relevance). The scene just demonstrates how beautifully crafted the entire movie is. PS: Natalie's character is not a lesbian. The movie is not about gays. Sorry to disappoint ;)

Opening transcript:

"Remember, remember / The fifth of November / The gunpowder treason and plot. / I know of no reason / Why the gunpowder treason / Should ever be forgot". But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes, and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it or hold it. Ideas do not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man who made me remember the fifth of November. A man I will never forget.

Transcript from the clip:

I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks, but I don't care, I am me. My name is Valerie, I don't think I'll live much longer and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that I'll ever write, and God, I'm writing it on toilet paper.

I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don't remember much of those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tuttlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain. I passed my '11 plus' and went to a girl's grammar; it was at school that I met my first girlfriend, her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that is was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara did, I didn't.

In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me, he told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the truth, was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.

I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, "The Salt Flats". It was the most important role of my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but her's again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box, and our place always smelled of roses. Those were there best years of my life. But America's war grew worse, and worse. And eventually came to London. After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.

I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like 'collateral' and 'rendition' became frightening. While things like 'North Fire' and 'The Articles of Allegiance' became powerful, I remember how 'different' became 'dangerous'. I still don't understand it, why they hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me.

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one.

An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

- Valerie